Couch Potato Critics

We took our popcorn and left the comfort of our lounge to venture outside into Cinema Land…

Ok so it got all the hype one expects from something that you lived in hope that it would live up to……..
Did it? Not really!

It had some scary stuff in it, don’t get me wrong, but you’d think that those “living” in it would actually do something!
Well ok a camera would work if the Spook was camera shy. Was it? Well I think it liked being on camera.

The whole camera thing got a bit tiring due to the “day after reviews” became seemingly less interesting to Micah when things started to heat up.
For instance, when the door first moved he was overjoyed…. but all the other stuff… some never even got mentioned….

The whole, “I’ll fix it” thing and the “you can’t do this in my house…” attitude, obviously scared the spook into submission.

I’m not going to mention too much about what happened as it is worth going to see, if you get scared easily and like to be scared.

Reading between the lines, what I got out of the movie is that a great duo has been born in Micah and Kate as two of the most dumbest people on Earth.
I’m hoping it becomes the theme for the next “Scary Movie” installment!

Yes, it had scary bits, loud noises will make most people jump, but overall the whole thing was comical. Especially the end….

And I won’t mention the so called “Psychic”. This guy obviously knows somethings nasty is going to happen, but he does Diddley Squat.
He was the little ray of hope, that ended up outscoring Micah in Stupidity. Hey he might end up in his own series…

I think the most scary part is hearing everyone in the cinema screaming.
Something to try…. Go back to see the movie again- wait for a non scary bit and Scream… and plug your ears…cause everyone will follow suit without knowing why.
That has to boost the entertainment value to “being worth it”.

The movie was a progression of hope (hoping it would be really scary) where in parts you did get a bit of a heart start.
That quickly progressed into a strong feeling of “how dumb can you be” and finally a big smile that it all worked out so well in the end.

Remember, it’s just a movie.

There are many more ideas that can be put into a movie like that, which would really require the local laundry service and paramedics to be on standby!

I’ve had the pleasure of watching ZombieLand.

To think that this was inspired by “Shaun of the Dead” which was an absolutely funny 9.5/10 movie, makes you wonder. Which bits of “Shaun of the Dead” did the writers actually watch? Or understand?

Let’s see – “Shaun of the Dead” had zombies…. Zombieland had zombies – Ahh now I see the inspiration! Cause that’s about all the inspiration that it takes from it.

Surprisingly there is a lot to be said about ZombieLand. I could even say a few nice things about it. But I don’t want to upset the writers and fans too much.

Personally, I’d give Zombieland 1/10 for entertainment and 9/10 for giving me hope that anyone can write a movie and make a few million riding on a proven concept.
That concept being, run around , trashing whatever you can find and shoot people, who have been dead but have since decided to get up again with the hope that those that aint dead become dinner.. Oh that last part only applies to ZombieLand, so that was disappointing – maybe there’ll be a part II.

Z-Land did just that – Gave one the strong urge to go off to Z-Land and dream of more entertaining things…

I’ve just seen this comment from a mate on Facebook…

The guy from Man Vs. Wild drank his own pee this week….. not just one sip either, a good three or four mouth fulls. You sir are a f&*@ing nutter….

It’s interesting in a number of ways. 1. Because the guy probably had to hydrate and the cameraman had probably finished his bottle of Gatoraide or hidden it and was having a great laugh.

You can picture the cameraman saying, after the above act was performed, “Oh I just found this bottle….”

Anyway, it did remind me of the Movie Dune. Having read the books and played the game ( on the PC). In Dune no one takes a piss, they just wear these suits and there is a little tube they drink from. Looks like Gatoraide…
So the act itself in the context of the Dune Movie was acceptable.

Although it raises the question regarding No 2’s. That I don’t recall how that was dealt with in Dune. I didn’t see them drinking coffee from that tube at anytime….

Hotdogs are just about ready…

Cheers
Noah Little

Ad: Telstra Mobile
Aired: Commercial TV – too often.
When : Obviously about the time I’ve written this at a guess!

There is a trend…

I’m going to be writing alot about these kinds of ads as there seems to be some advertising persons who think they are pretty “Kool” ( I even spelt it like that just for them..) and love taking the mickey out of their audience while making a few bucks for their clients.

Anyway, I seen these ads enough times to come to the above conclusion. No I’m not a Telstra Mobile Phone User. I’m not married to an Idiot and if I were I wouldn’t stay with them… But if I had a Telstra Mobile I sure would.

I’d even be happy they were using some “Crappy not as good as Telstra” mobile service, apparently!

The real message

Telstra’s Mobile Service lets you get emails and stuff really fast. [It is an ad..]
The Others [of course] are piss poor slow. Possibly because Telstra has made them that way on their mobile backbone but that’s for another Blog.

The Ad in Question

Bozo Brains and Spunky Dumb Chick are waiting for some friends to arrive at a restaurant… Bozo can’t remember his mates new girlfriends name. “It’s something like a Fruit”…
Spunky Dumb Chick looks up the email they had got sent…While Bozo Brains is still trying to download his email to find out the mates girlfriends name. *** Note – there are better cheaper ways to do this. Just ask them! ***

This is where it gets interesting…

Turns out the Girlfriends name is Melony. “The Fruit” – Melons…hahahaha. Ok, it must have been a real fun creative evening for the guys with a few magazines for inspiration…

Any way the “bloke” and Melony ( what’s the guys name?) sit down, while Spunky Dumb Chick waits to be seated. Of course Bozo Brains doesn’t do the right thing by assisting her as What’s his name had just done for Melons, umm I mean Melony, and she ends up seating herself. Maybe he’s been affected by the “Telstra ” waves as well.
Well he is a Bozo Brain… You are not allowed to smoke near others anymore cause they get affected by passive smoking. Passive Telstra Mobile Phone Waves maybe at play here…

If there are more of these…

This is the Second Ad of this “series”… If there is a third, and I’m guessing there will be, it just means there’ll be more for me to write about, and someone has to do it.

Well I’m out of popcorn, time for a refill.
Cheers
Noah Little

I’m not sure what to say about this ad,

On the one hand I think it’s Brilliant. My Wife is in hysterics when she sees it.
On the other hand I kind of cringe in certain parts…You’ll know which parts they are when you see them.

It’s Part II of an ad where all the nice people who make the beer live. You’ll see flashes of them and the paradise they live in throughout the ad.

And it’s where the Dove has apparently come from and got lost and is having great difficulty in getting home.

Warning if you are a Dove

If you are a Dove, you may have problems watching this or maybe you can relate to it.

Watch and enjoy.

Hmm Rankings:

Cleverness 8/10.

Ability to show Beer Drinkers can be kind to animals 9/10.

I’ve had a bit of a look at the responses on the internet to Kraft’s New Snack Fiasco.

For one thing, it will not be a Recommended Couch Potato Critics Snack.

Now Dave, whom I’ve never met or spoken too has put up a good video on Youtube regarding this. So as he’s taken the time to do so I’m putting it up here for your viewing pleasure.

Bravo Dave. Well Said and let’s hope it all goes the way of the DODO.

I thought it had…. as it tastes like a DODO would after all these years…

It might look like Crap. It tastes like crap and it’s name, well it’s ….

Once again the advertising geniuses have disgraced a National Icon by calling a revamped version of it – iSnack 2.0.

What is that? – “I Snack too” or is it some ad geeks idea of a Joke – like Web 2.0. “Oh I’m a internet Nerd and me and all my internet nerdy mates are up on this Web 2.0 thing and we all have Iphones to send nerdy pictures to each other on ( nothing wrong with IPhones by the way – See www.iWankers.com. So let’s first change the taste of some National Icon to real Crap and call it iSnack 2.0. Man that’s so Cool”.

Well Mr Advertising Geek…

Don’t go changing something that’s been working for a long long time and please don’t go using shit names like “iSuck@Advertsing 2″ (possibly the advertising companies name – perhaps it should be)

And whats with – We’ve asked a lot of people… and it’s just your mates around a board room table. Hmmmm Do I dare say more?

So overall – It’s an Insult to every one that likes the Old Vegemite and it insults those who have an IQ greater than 2.0. Again is that a reflection on the iSuck@Advertising 2.0 collective IQ. They must have a large staff

It’s a National Aussie Disgrace

Is the Vegemite company owned by Australians?

In Conclusion

No Ratings or anything on this one. There’s nothing more to say than “think up a better name”!

Format: Television Advertisment.

Location: Australia

By Noah.

Description

So we have two kids sitting in what looks like a Photo Shoot place where kids get taken to be tortured to have their photos taken. (I was lucky and never had to go through that).

The young fella cranks up his “Casio Watch” Beat Box and they do this dancing Eye Brow thing.

Looks painful. But I actually enjoy it as it’s different.

I have no idea what the product being advertised is.

Ask me what that ad is advertising? The answer is – ummmm Musical watches or Eyebrow Gymnastic Courses.

Well done to the bozos who dreamt up that AD. Clever Ad, but my poor braincells weren’t indoctrinated with whatever it was you were advertising.

So Ratings.

Entertainment Value : 8/10

Stupidity Factor: 8/10 ( not a bad thing)

Relevancy : negative 10/10. What was it was advertising?

Will those two kids get bagged at school the rest of their lives?

I bet they get a lot of free watches.

Ok, well we’re just cleaning up a bit here before we get settled in but just to let you know what’s going on..

We’ll be bringing you as many possible reviews, news, reports, rumours (even if we have to make them up) and anything else that’s remotely interesting.

Anything media related will fall upon our laps and get it’s due rating.

So sit back, ( cause we will be, you can bet on that) and get ready for some classic Couch Potato Critics stuff.

(Stuff is a technical term by the way)

And I’m very sure, in fact I’m certain, that the other two Bozo’s Max and Dohman are going to bag my intro here. I might just leave them out a while and take over…

It’s all beginning folks. Now where is that popcorn and who’s hogging the remote….

Regards

Noah